A Mardi Gras Cock Block, Presented Without (Much) Commentary

Categories: Hook-up Stories
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The following story comes courtesy of someone who was a few years behind me in college and recently emailed to get back in touch. Apparently, he's grown into quite the ladies' man. I don't much like his attitude towards women, but it's seasonally appropriate, so there's that. Maybe the main takeaway from this is "do not have sexual relations with young men who've recently graduated from Columbia and are now engaged in trying to cock-block each other at Mardi Gras." Enjoy.

So me and my friends were meandering around New Orleans during Mardi Gras drunk as hell, and my friend Pete has somehow started making out with this girl. She's trying to get him to enter her number into his phone, and says "Did you put it in yet?" I then yell out, "He hears that question all the time!" Apparently, that was awesome, because she pounced on me and we started making out. So that was the first time I rack jacked Pete, without actively trying.

Later, Pete has a different girl he's making out with, and she spills her drink all over him. He takes his shirt off to dry it off or something, or maybe just to show off. She asks why he took his shirt off and I declare "He wants to show off what he thinks are muscles." Again, the girl pounces on me, and I've rack jacked Pete just by being in the vicinity.

Lastly, Pete has another girl he's making out with, but Pete is ultra drunk by now, and when he gets really drunk, he gets super molesty. They're making out, he cops a boob feel, and she pulls back and says "hey!" I then slap Pete, and quote Ask Alice! with "PETE! Consent is sexy! Ask for it!" and then the girl pounces on me for being some sort of awesome knight in shining armor. That girl also gave me a handy in broad daylight, which was mostly fun just for the public and surprise hand job aspect of it. Not that remarkable of a hand job on its own merits, though.

We also kept making fun of Pete for this whole thing because 1- "Joe talks better than you make out!" and 2- Pete then hooked up with a really busted chick in the hopes that I wouldn't steal her, too. A really busted chick that he had hooked up with the previous year and gotten untold crap for.

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