The author notes "the surreal, feverish totemization of penis size in our culture: People feel free to harp on about someone's penis as though this is not insulting or inappropriate because, if that penis is sufficiently large, any reference to it is, by default, flattering. (Were he possessed of 'an unimpressive sausage,' so to speak, far less would have been said.)

McCord was a football playing stud who went on to appear in Elvis films and eventually landed the show, which launched his chiseled looks into the fame they deserved.

I always loved his squinty eyes, high cheekbones, perfect chin, and nice teeth.

I give him an (Adam) 12.

Well, get a load of what William Angel Bailey (Jada Valenciaga) wrote on Facebook about an attempt to go to Pulse karaoke bar on West 41st Street.

"Calling all gay, lesbian, transgendered, bisexual, or ANYONE who is a supporter:

"Last night I tried to go to a friends birthday party at PULSE in drag before I had to be at work. I was not allowed in after being told by the bouncer that 'they don't accept my kind' and following that he proceeded to call me a stripper and say that they have a dress code.

Andy told me he's been sober for a while and misses the stuff like crazy, but he's realized you can get laid without it.

Now how is Brad Pitt going to feel about that?

The book is The Billy Bob Tapes: A Cave Full of Gosts by Thornton and Kinky Friedman.

And Thornton's ex, Angelina Jolie, clinks metaphorical vials of blood with him and weighs in with a written appreciation.

The profiles read more like romance novels than confessionals, filled with exaggerations, evasions, wishful thinking, and downright doctoring of evidence.

With every word they type, the participants' noses grow Pinocchio-style, but unfortunately their other parts tend to stay the same size--or maybe they even shrink from fear of being found out.

At a woebegone water theme park, the lifeguards have been replaced with strippers, and the piranhas are out in full force in this comedy thriller that pits fish against foul.

Things reach a fever pitch when David Hasselhoff, of all people, comes around to save the day bare chested and in slow motion.

And if there's anything left to chew--like scenery--it looks like Christopher Lloyd is game, with help from fellow old-timers Gary Busey and Ving Rhames plus lots of half-naked hussies.

You'd be psycho not to find this hot.

Nope.

The stud--who appeared in classics like Psycho and Spartacus--will forever live on celluloid as a chiseled mass of burning hunky love who put the "hot" back in hotel room.

Leap is the musical about a con man who connects with his faith and makes a disabled kid walk (if not exactly making people run to the box office).

It just closed after a mere 44 performances on Broadway (including previews). But it's nominated for the Tony for Best Musical, mainly because it's not Spider Man: Turn off The Dark.

Shocking, right? Well, not really. In my research, I've found three shows that ran even shorter and got Best Musical nominations.

And they were all pitch dark.

I'm going to give away some lines from Sacha Baron Cohen's new spoof, The Dictator, about a genocidal Wadiyan nitwit who learns some values in Brooklyn.

You should see the movie--it's fun--so consider this giveaway a naughty little appetizer tray.