​Several years ago at a French film luncheon, I was introduced to Anouk Aimee, the beautiful star of such classic art flicks as A Man and a Woman and 8 1/2.

I was thrilled to meet the woman because she'd made an impact on my cineastic history and she'd always seemed so glamorously aloof, as if even subtitles couldn't begin to demystify her.

​New York Governor David Paterson is all riled up over media-fueled rumors that he's been cheating on the wife and has done lotsa drugs, and I agree it's probably a smear campaign started by his fellow Democrats who can't wait for him to step down.

In any case, this story reminds me of an age-old concern of mine: Why do legally blind people always have such hot looking dates?

High-living singer Ray Charles, for example, was always accessorized with extremely attractive women, so how did he know?

Did he feel their faces? (We know he felt their bodies.)

Did he ask around?

Or did he just sense it from their personalities?

​It's 2013 and Sarah Palin has already used her presidency to rip condoms out of womens' hands because they don't go well with abstinence, and to round up anyone who looks or sounds like they might have a connection to Al-Qaeda and make sure they only get on one plane--to the great big concentration camp she's constructed in Wasilla.

But two weeks into her reign, Palin gets an offer from QVC to be an on-air personality and sell appliqued blouses for a day and a half. She can't do this while President--it simply wouldn't look right--so she promptly clears out of the White House and takes the gig, desperate for the fabulous exposure and extra moolah!

​A regular on Datalounge.com has posted his list of black male stars on the down low!

Someone else on the site responded that a lot of it is just wishful thinking, and someone else chimed in that a lot of these guys are more likely bi, but I'd have to say a lot of this is pretty spot on too.

Where there's smoke, there's usually flamers.

​That needle-happy doctor Conrad Murray has gotten charged and could face up to four years in the big house, and Michael's dad Joe Jackson is mighty pissed.

No, not because someone who may have killed his son is getting punished. But because he isn't getting punished enough.

Joe has said through his lawyer that "involuntary manslaughter" isn't nearly a strong enough charge for the last grownup male to deal with the superstar's biology.

Joe's furor would be inspiring if he weren't the same one who tortured, insulted, and fucked up Michael Jackson for his entire life!

​I'm in the minority of folks who feel Taylor Swift wasn't that off-key on the Grammy Awards, but I'm in the majority who are convinced that the Sherry Vine parody of the whole incident is right on key and absolutely hilarious.

Unlike Taylor herself, this thing doesn't come off flat.

​But not as the Roxy!

The fabled gay dance palace where I spent so many woozy years will be razed and rebuilt as the 2000-person Eden Ballroom, a gigantic lounge-cum-restaurant-cum-event space.

At least there's an application for that to happen, but as the below sign currently posted outside the joint tells you, there's a movement to stop Eden from ever becoming a reality.

​Here are the issues on Madge's gold-encrusted plate at the moment:

*Her film career seems to have stalled. Not like in the past, when it stalled but kept going.

*Meanwhile, the film career of her ex husband, Guy Ritchie, has soared, Sherlock Holmes having raked in two Oscar nominations and approximately $200 million at the box office. Not coincidentally, she's not in it.

*The relationship with Jesus Luz apparently didn't work out. I guess this Jesus couldn't work miracles.

Tommy McCall

​No, it's not an exhibit about galoshes. I'm an exhibit about galoshes.

It's a show about the history and use and humor and power of condoms, in all of their slippery, life saving glory.

Naturally, as you can see from Tommy McCall's amazing photos, I was most drawn to the art pieces that involved genitals.

And naturally I went over the line with them and had a ball! Or two!

via Trump Plaza

​So I checked out of the Trump Plaza in Atlantic City the other day after a press trip to judge a really fun drag contest at Boardwalk Hall.

I allowed 15 full minutes to do this because I know from experience that they will try to hit you with fake charges and you'll have to fight back with every pore of your fiery soul.

And I was right, honey.