​That needle-happy doctor Conrad Murray has gotten charged and could face up to four years in the big house, and Michael's dad Joe Jackson is mighty pissed.

No, not because someone who may have killed his son is getting punished. But because he isn't getting punished enough.

Joe has said through his lawyer that "involuntary manslaughter" isn't nearly a strong enough charge for the last grownup male to deal with the superstar's biology.

Joe's furor would be inspiring if he weren't the same one who tortured, insulted, and fucked up Michael Jackson for his entire life!

​I'm in the minority of folks who feel Taylor Swift wasn't that off-key on the Grammy Awards, but I'm in the majority who are convinced that the Sherry Vine parody of the whole incident is right on key and absolutely hilarious.

Unlike Taylor herself, this thing doesn't come off flat.

​But not as the Roxy!

The fabled gay dance palace where I spent so many woozy years will be razed and rebuilt as the 2000-person Eden Ballroom, a gigantic lounge-cum-restaurant-cum-event space.

At least there's an application for that to happen, but as the below sign currently posted outside the joint tells you, there's a movement to stop Eden from ever becoming a reality.

​Here are the issues on Madge's gold-encrusted plate at the moment:

*Her film career seems to have stalled. Not like in the past, when it stalled but kept going.

*Meanwhile, the film career of her ex husband, Guy Ritchie, has soared, Sherlock Holmes having raked in two Oscar nominations and approximately $200 million at the box office. Not coincidentally, she's not in it.

*The relationship with Jesus Luz apparently didn't work out. I guess this Jesus couldn't work miracles.

Tommy McCall

​No, it's not an exhibit about galoshes. I'm an exhibit about galoshes.

It's a show about the history and use and humor and power of condoms, in all of their slippery, life saving glory.

Naturally, as you can see from Tommy McCall's amazing photos, I was most drawn to the art pieces that involved genitals.

And naturally I went over the line with them and had a ball! Or two!

via Trump Plaza

​So I checked out of the Trump Plaza in Atlantic City the other day after a press trip to judge a really fun drag contest at Boardwalk Hall.

I allowed 15 full minutes to do this because I know from experience that they will try to hit you with fake charges and you'll have to fight back with every pore of your fiery soul.

And I was right, honey.

via Stern Rate

​According to today's Page Six, that could happen, as the popular talent show is reportedly courting the shock jock to replace Simon Cowell (though a source is quoted as saying Stern might just be using this to keep Sirius XM on their toes and give him lots of money when his contract renews).

If it did happen, the frizzy haired mouth of America would surely be sharp and funny as he cuts down all those screechy singers, all while Ellen DeGeneres assumes an Abdul-like glow and tries to defend them.

​Two Oscar winners recently garnered raves for portraying faded lady Blanche Dubois in Tennessee Williams' A Streetcar Named Desire--Rachel Weisz in London and Cate Blanchett in my homeland of Brooklyn.

But neither has gotten enough kindness from strangers to make the leap to Broadway.

​I'm as big a fan of Channing Tatum's looks as anyone, but even that can't buoy Dear John from its lethargy, especially since his acting in this is on the level of a porn film.

​Isn't that great?

He spoke out today against the proposed Uganda law which would serve draconican punishments for same-same coupling, in some cases including the death penalty.