Kathy Griffin, responding to someone who tweeted, "Get some class. Ur mouth is like a sewer.":

"Ahhh blow me. Love, KG"

The Green Lantern--most recently played by Ryan Reynolds (albeit as a womanizer)--is now an out gay media mogul who's fearless and honest and has as little use for the closet as he does for the color purple.

And I have some marvelous ideas as to what his special powers should be.

I wore impenetrable dark glasses through the interview--as I did through the entire 1980s--and was sporting a messy 'fro and clothes that reeked of cigarette smoke. (The pursuit of lung cancer was fully allowed in clubs then.)

What's more, I was practically monosyllabic, sorely lacking in energy because this interview was at noon--an incredibly early time to me in 1984--and I was as nervous a club owner during a police raid.

Says the release:

"Next week, in Honor of Gay Pride, John Bartlett will unveil a limited edition capsule collection of his signature tees entitled 'Gay, Proud and Compassionate'--created specifically to honor the occasion.

I saw most of the Living Dead tuner at a sneak peek preview last night, and can report that it's not gruesome and campy and hilarious at all.

Even if you want it to be.

And my eyes started dancing when they landed upon the visual reminders of his beautiful self from his underwear model days.

I stared at the outline of that thing so many times I now know it better than my own business--and I'm not even like that!

When we got to the register, the cashier processed my friend's purchase, then said, "Can I interest you in one of our pens for a dollar?"

The cutest names I just thought of for drag kings--and if I ever pretend to be a man, I might use one of them:

Chester Drawers

Vinnie Vidi-Vici

Abraham Sandwich

Marco DaVampire

Easy: Because they really like each other.

But what I'm actually trying to get at is this:

Seeing how so many Hollywood relationships explode when one member of the couple suddenly makes it way bigger than the other, why have these two--a unit since 1997--not succumbed to that kind of fallout?

I mean, when a longtime partner becomes an "overnight star," the other partner usually packs up their ego and runs for safety.

For years, I've joked about a Helen Keller musical with lyrics like, "Helen, Helen/Stop your yellin', Helen/I can't hear you, and you can't hear yourself..."

Well, it's come true!

Somewhere in naughty, bawdy Asia, they've gotten the sheer gall together to make Helen's story into a singing and dancing spectacular, using scraps of songs from other shows (including "Legally Blind," I mean "Legally Blonde"), not to mention obvious inspiration from Def Poetry Jam.