No More Crack House for Winehouse

The news that Amy Winehouse has said yes, yes, yes to rehab fills me with the craziest batch of mixed feelings since Courtney Love's Versace makeover and Paris Hilton's intended descent on Rwanda. The humanitarian in me is delighted that Amy's seeking help, but the pop culture commentator is absolutely furious! We NEED a rock star who lives the lyrics of her song, who teeters on the edge, who provides good copy, and who has the balls to make a career out of sabotaging her career. I was looking forward to seeing if she could even stand up at the Grammies—six times if she wins in every category! And besides, it's only as a walking Value Jet flight that aimless Amy can simultaneously inspire our rebellious spirit and underline the urgency with which we need to seek help ourselves. Yes, the girl was in the midst of an emergency situation—but they should have just called Mary-Kate Olsen!