Some Like it Twat: My Nude Shoot as Lindsay/Marilyn

Musto in panties, flanked by art director Ivylise Simones and photo editor Staci Schwartz (photo: Howard Huang)

I would get naked for you people—and in fact, I did! If you'll simply stop everything and click down below, you'll see the unspeakably titillating evidence of my shameless firecrotch. It's my current Voice cover story and the accompanying photos by Howard Huang in which I perform a nearly starkers ego-balancing act as "Musto as Lindsay as Monroe." No, that doesn't mean me as George "Goober" Lindsay as President John Monroe. It's moi emulating the embattled yet still glamorous tartlet Ms. Lohan in her recent homage to the immortally mortal Marilyn Monroe. With the help of panties, a blonde wig, and a whole lotta balls, I became a total love goddess, and you'll have to take my word for that, even after seeing the photos. I just hope the Kennedys don't kill me now!

THE ESSAY: Michael Musto as Lindsay Lohan as Marilyn Monroe

THE SLIDESHOW: Michael Musto as Lindsay Lohan as Marilyn Monroe

PS: Regis and Kelly showed and talked about the cover this morning and everyone else seems to be loving it with one hand even if they're vomiting with the other. Only the ever-sour Gawker—ignoring the recent New York Times article that says THEY'RE sliding—finds it another sign that the Voice is sad and old. Funny, some of my blog posts get more page views than theirs do—and this just one of a BUNCH of blogs we have! Plus the entire paper! But back to my chicken wings.