Son of Sam is Back! Lock Yourselves In!

Grotesque serial killer David Berkowitz, a/k/a the Son of Sam, has written a book! And I'm begging you not to buy it! I can still vividly remember being a teen harlot when Berkowitz was killing people left and right in my native Brooklyn, and having to race home from the subway after a night at Studio 54, terrified that he'd put an end to my partying. Yes, I know he was only going after attractive girls, but who knew what the nutjob might have mistaken me for, especially in the dark? All these years later, Berkowitz has been spiritually transformed and wants to absolutely slay you with the result. He's come out with Son of Hope—The Prison Journals of David Berkowitz, Volume 1, and though he can't make any money from it, the publisher certainly can (even if they promise "a portion of the proceeds will go to..." blah blah blah). It's all rather gross, especially since various bible-thumping types I've never heard of have come out of the woodwork to give their ringing endorsements for this masterpiece of dark deception. Among one illiterate quote being used to promote the book is the one from some ultra religious prison official who says, "The conversion of the Son of Sam gives every single human home." That's true—I locked myself in my home until HE was locked up in the big house. But even if the guy meant HOPE, the quote still ick-ifies me. It creepily goes on to gush that "the blood of Christ washes clean even the vilest of crimes." Like this book?