Gay Men are Really Women!

A few years ago, I did a pilot for a TV show whose premise was that gay men are just like women, and I was so horrified by that stereotypical idea that I was thrilled when the show wasn't picked up. (If that thesis were true, then I'd basically been fucking females all these years and I was straight! And a woman! Stop this madness!) But now comes a study by scientists at the esteemed Stockholm Brain Institute in Sweden saying that gay men and straight women are INDEED basically sisters. The similarity, said the notice informing me about this groundbreaking study, lies in "mostly the size of their brains and the activity of the amygdala, which is an area of the brain tied to emotion, anxiety and aggression." Oh, no! Now gross guys are going to want to stroke my amygdala so I'll put out, tie the knot, and then clean house for the rest of my life!

But wait a lavender minute! I just realized what kind of gays are REALLY like women―lesbians!

"Study Says Brains of Gay Men and Women Are Similar"