Keira Leads The Parade of Naked Stardom!

Read the gossip on imdb.com—and I do, honey—and you find celebrities emitting all kinds of paraodoxical statements, sometimes unwittingly contradicting each other's world views with every word.

First came an item called "Piper Fears Nudity Will Ruin Hollywood Career," which stated that "British actress Billie Piper fears her recent role as a high-class prostitute will damage her career prospects in Hollywood—because A-list stars never commit to on-screen nudity.

The former Dr. Who star plays the lead role in recent TV drama The Secret Diary of a Call Girl, which follows the exploits of an upmarket hooker living in London.

Piper says, 'Someone said to me the other day, 'What A-list stars get their tits out?' And then I started thinking, 'Oh my God, what have I done? I've ruined my future career!' "

Sounds tragic, right? Even playing an upmarket 'ho an be ruinous, right? But scroll down nine and a half inches and you get this:

"Actress Keira Knightley was happy to film a sex scene for new movie The Edge Of Love--even though the naked romp was written by her mother.

Knightley says, 'She dared to put a sex scene in it. It didn't worry me that my mother knows what sex is'."

So Knightley—as A-list as you can get these days—is perfectly willing to bare her dumplings and get plowed onscreen, even in a scene written by the woman whose vagina she once came out of! This is the way Hollywood SHOULD be! Bring back the '70s, when you weren't a true superstar unless you flaunted all your private bits in gratuitous yet lovingly shot scenes for the world to jerk off to. That's the meaning of true acting success!