Pin The Tail On The Donkey (NSFW)

A dear friend of mine just got back from the country of Colombia, where a native gentleman told him in the heat of passion that years ago he and his friends lost their virginity to a hot piece of meat—a burro! Yes, a freakin' donkey! Who hadn't shaved! Actually, it was a burra, since it's the female version that boys are encouraged to shtupp—not only for experience, but supposedly because it makes your dick grow bigger. (It does? Quick, where's the nearest burra?)

Anyway, this shit carries animal husbandry to astounding new heights, don't you think? It's hotter than Equus, sicker than Donkey Kong, and it truly redefines horse's ass. I might even run down to Bogota and open a dating service called Pony Express. I'll be the burra President! Educationally enough, there are even some videos about the whole pesky process. They're called THE VICE GUIDE TO TRAVEL—ASSES OF THE CARIBBEAN (VBS.TV)—and you must be sure to click on all three vids for the full informational effect. And then wash!!!