New Music From Teflon Heiress Paris Hilton

I have a shocking admission to make: I liked Paris Hilton’s debut album. I don’t even care if she recorded it one note at a time and then they layered it with whoever does Britney Spears’s singing. It was good shit! So I’m actually semi looking forward to Paris’s sophomore effort, which she just put in the proverbial can. While we’re waiting with bated jizz breath, if you haven’t yet heard Paris’s first single off the album, “My BFF” (which is also the theme song to her new reality show), I’m giving you the link courtesy of Ryan Seacrest’s radio show, where she all too poetically debuted it the other day. According to the lyrics, “All of my life, don’t you know I’ve been waiting for my best friend.” All of my life? Well, one doesn’t turn to Paris Hilton for grammatical perfection. We turn to her for validation that we can be her BFF! Choose me, bitch! I won’t puke on your shoes that much!