Richard Gere Finally Addresses Gerbil Rumor--And Changes It!

Categories: Celebs, Featured

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Remember the old Mother Goose tale that Richard Gere got a sexual thrill out of sticking gerbils up his ass for nightly bouts of squirming captivity? Remember when every douche nozzle in town claimed to know someone who knew someone who had a copy of the X-rays of the little critter suffocating in Gere's rectal canal in vivid closeup? Well, Gere wisely stuck his own head up there too and played dead while the rumor blew over (and it took about 15 years, mind you), but now he's finally found the strength to make a reference to it. According to imdb.com, Gere told an interviewer he won't read magazines because they're full of lies. "I stopped reading the press a long time ago," Gere is quoted as saying. "Lots of crazy things came up about me at first, especially from the tabloids. There is an infamous 'Gere stuck a hamster up his bum' urban myth."

But hold your horses! While it's very brave of Gere (the star of Nights In Rodents, I mean Nights In Rodanthe) to make note of something that obviously proved so humiliating to him, I have to make a correction: The story was that it was a gerbil, not a hamster! And don't say "Who cares?"--there's a difference! I looked it up (lots of free time) and learned that not only does a gerbil not like to be alone, but it's way more likely than a hamster "to be gassy or have diarrhea". And I would think one's rectal canal would be capable of it's OWN gassiness and diarrhea. So by shifting the tale to a hamster, I feel that Gere is unfairly sugarcoating things. It was a flatulent gerbil, dammit! I'm going to go shower now.

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35 comments
UltrabeastHarkonnen
UltrabeastHarkonnen

Seriously what is wrong with your brain? Is it so inferior that it's incapable of creating original things for yourself it has to only create fucking stupid things that damage others?


sstoogemutt
sstoogemutt

This falls under the catagory of don't need and don't want to know.I'm trying to get this s(hit out of my mind but it ain't easy.

sstoogemutt
sstoogemutt

Never did care for Richard Queer,I mean Gere especially after reading this f(ucked up s(hit.What an a(sshole!!

Low Gere
Low Gere

If he says the hamster rumor is untrue, it could be his way of denying the gerbil rumor without lying about it. Think about it.

Pat Smithen
Pat Smithen

The extremely anticipated Glee Britney Spears occurrence aired yesterday evening, over the frequently battling then again purportedly recuperating artist generating a terrific look and feel, got to definitely like her for this, superior to that Lohan young lady.

Romeo Zarella
Romeo Zarella

Stupid is just as stupid does...this event is definitely a joke. Lindsay Lohan goes on to do illegal drugs only because your girl is not going to "get it"...The whole court procedure is a joke. You need to put this lady in some gaol in Cincinnati or somewhere else in Ohio where you don't have a overcrowding and there is no ridiculous program that continually lets these folks get away with ****. At a minimum if this lady will go on to do harmful drugs she need to be "smart and practical" about it not get caught...or else, keep up with what you are doing Lindsay lohan and allow us to drop you inside of Afghanistan with hugely bold soldiers that happen to be losing their lives day after day to provide you your stupid so-called "independence".

laura
laura

yea you wanna know why know one would care? because he didn't cheat on his wife (with anyone other then a hamster anyway), he didn't kill anyone, he wasn't involved in drugs, there was no foul play of any kind, and there wasn't actual pictures of his face proving it. look at britney, paris, and lindsay, there were several pics of each of them with no panties whatsoever.. seems like they WANTED to be photographed or else they would have kept their nasty cooters covered. and we don't know for sure if this happened to him, even if it did... who cares? i say that because its NONE of anyones business what type of freaky sh*t this guys into, just because its not the most normal thing in the world doesn't make its the worst thing you can do. i'd be looking out for those rapist, pedophiles... they're the ones who should be getting sh*t.

Family6Guy
Family6Guy

Amy played supporting actress in Charlie Wilson's War. Anyone, who claims they "Love" their Country, this is a must see movie and yet I see no credits posted for Amy anywere I've looked. Amy Adams is most beautiful and until I saw that movie, pardon the pun, I didn't know her from Adam. 20 Years in broadcasting 20 in and around all the stuidos. Had I met her in my salad days, I'd ask her to dinner, Amy Adams would go, and I would just be happy to be in her company.

Family3Guy
Family3Guy

Amy Adams is often a heartbreaker. Amy Adams is incredibly stunning and Amy Adams REALLY is a nice person, too.

turtle laviada
turtle laviada

why dont gerbils drive? because they cant get out of gere! hahahahahah ... ok that was old and stupid

Terry
Terry

Kevin: That link proves nothing, just more words about what somebody else said.Pamela Maloof: You should have become a journalist and you could have been one of the more honest, discreet, truthful writers, something we need more of.I'm upset for all the poor little gerbils who will sadly be stuffed up people's anuses by people who are stupid enough to believe that Richard Gere really did this. Animals are SO at our mercy, especially small defenseless ones. :(

Pamela Maloof
Pamela Maloof

I would also like to state that if it was a normal person and not a celebrity, NO ONE would care. For instance there is a story about a guy in Vegas who attacked a baby in a stroller with an axe, But thats not all over in the news as much as Britney spears' bald muff. There was a guy (can't remember where exactly) that threw his baby on the bed, and broke his leg, But thats not all over national newspapers and magazines, because these people aren't famous. Journalists today are nothing but jokes. I used to want to be one when I was in middle school until I saw what they would do to celebrities and their careers, and how the actual news isn't what they write about, they write about. Journalists today think that unless they are famous no one would bother to read the story. It's sickening, and I have to say I am glad I did not become one.

Pamela Maloof
Pamela Maloof

Wow, I think I speak for about 80% of the world (the sane Percent) when I say, "Who gives a shit?" Really, your concerned because Richard gere claimed the rumor wrong he said hamster instead of gerbil, also he is right, the tabloids and most all the press are full of shit, hell I don't even watch the news anymore because they only say 1/2 truths, if at all. He might have did that on purpose, he may have quoted them wrong on purpose, to prove thats how rumors get started, you know you tell one person " Oh yeah I had explosive diarreah last night" and then it goes from one person to another then all of a sudden it's " Hey did you know Joe Shmoe stuck a hamster up his ass while his wife sat on his face, then he was constipated". If this is the shit that your concerned about you really need to get a hobby, or a job or something.

A.J. Fxxer
A.J. Fxxer

"Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus that brought Richard Gere a gerbil."

Merry Christmas and to all a good hamster!

QueersSuck
QueersSuck

Gerbils, hamsters,--who cares? I would have let the whole Ringling Brothers Animal Act up in my ass, if only Richard Gere agreed to be my "Daddy"! Woof!

Penguinito
Penguinito

Of course, Michael, there another important difference between gerbils and hamsters: Gerbils have more white meat.

Droozy
Droozy

I LOVE L.Ron Hubbard dildos. I bought one from an infomercial hosted by Kelly Preston one night on CNBC.

Tim
Tim

I actually witnessed Larry "Bud" Melman assert that he saw the medical report from Cedars Sinai(Theeduhs Thoinoi) while having a drink at the bar of a comedy club one night in the summer of 1990. It was truly surreal just to overhear him speak on the topic.

sir tweaks-a-lot
sir tweaks-a-lot

This rumour was started by some jilted trick of Gere's. He's known to be at least bi.

The Late Tallulah Bankhead
The Late Tallulah Bankhead

Hamsters, gerbils...the rumor that I heard, way back when, is that Richard had shoved one of those deliciously lifelike Al Parker commemorative dildos up his ass and it got jammed in a tight corner or some such thing and after hours of huffing and puffing trying to yank the thing out, he finally called his very close personal friend John Travolta over and Johnny, who has experience with such erotic playtoys (he has one of the few L. Ron Hubbard dildos), gave to a jerk and out it came.Or something like that.

Billy
Billy

I'm glad you got to the bottom of this, Musto...you got this hole situation cleared up!

snatchburger
snatchburger

It's lucky he doesn't read the press--or he'd be reading this!

ladybug
ladybug

Good Point. Idiotic, but good.

minnie mouse
minnie mouse

This is important journalism, Musto. Thank you.

Tiffthomas360tt
Tiffthomas360tt

I beloved it all to b true. Its been going on for to many years. Maybe making the movie pretty woman made him alil freaky

Kingsfern
Kingsfern

Middle school journalist? Shut the hell up. Quit trying to act like you don't care. If you really didn't, you wouldn't be here! You probably just failed as a journalist and are now just bitter. Stupid hypocrite.

Vigilante3
Vigilante3

I myself much prefer Gerbils to Hampsters by virtue of the fact that Gerbils have sharper claws and a much more frenzied burrowing action.

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