Shocker! Hollywood Actor is Really Straight!

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No, you have to believe me on this, people. There's really a heterosexual guy on TV. And he's actually quiet about it! And he's even played a gay!

I'm talking about Doug Savant, who portrays Tom Scavo on Desperate Housewives, but who first rose to attention as the fagelah Matt on Melrose Place. This all comes up in Howard Bragman's upcoming book, Where's My Fifteen Minutes?, an exploration of the p.r. game and how to make it work for you. Bragman writes, "As Doug's publicist, people were always asking about his personal sexual orientation. He is in fact heterosexual, married, and has numerous children. But Doug thought it would be insulting to the gay community if he went out of his way to say he was straight, so we kept his embarrassing heterosexuality in the closet for a long time."

A closet hetero! We love you, Doug! Almost as if you were one of us!

By the way, I searched a little deeper and found that Doug wanted Melrose to show more of his character Matt's actual love life, but they were desperately afraid to. As you might recall, the network even scheduled a gay kiss and hyped it, then got cold feet and yanked it at the last minute. Frustrated with having so little to do on the show, Doug split after six seasons, breaking gay hearts everywhere and leaving Heather Locklear lonelier than ever.

The non-idiot Savant is quoted as saying, "During my first year on Melrose Place (1992), there was a great deal of pressure from Fox TV for me to out myself as a straight man. The producers kept telling me I had to say publicly that I was a breeder. They said too many people assumed I was gay. I know the truth of my life, so I didn't have to play the network game. For three years, I was the spokesperson for the AIDS rides in California. I was flattered that people assumed I was gay. To me, that was an affirmation that I was doing my job."

Wowsa! This has now gone beyond just love, Doug. This calls for full sexual release.


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