Happy Turkey Week, Chickens!

I wish you all gobs of giblet gravy, mountains of cranberry sauce, and swarms of hot sailors to wipe off your face afterwards. I'm taking this week off--I need the time to prepare my Swanson's TV dinner--but feel free to keep in touch with hot gossip or even just room-temperature leftovers. And watch out for the column coming out this Wednesday. It's a wowser that'll explode your mental microwave.

Wait, I'll leave you with a gossip tidbit to help tide you through the wicked week: Well-liked Siberian model Irina Pantaeva is heading for splitsville with her longtime discoverer/husband, Roland Levin. Wah!!!