What To Expect In An Economically Depressed New York City

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*A sudden taste for one-dollar deli coffee

*The Meat Packing District returning to its glory as a haven for rats, trannie prosties, and bagel joints

*Lots more muggers and thieves, as all the rich people who moaned that "New York has lost its edge" double-bolt themselves indoors

*Some sick, twisted, panic-driven nightlife worth unbolting the door for

*Tony Award categories eliminated for lack of five possible nominees

*A reprise of the "I Love New York" ad campaign, once again trying to sugarcoat the desperation

*An end to that annoying phrase, "New York is in a real estate bubble!"


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