Paris Hilton Lied To Me!

Just a few weeks ago, my BFF Paris Hilton went on and on to me about how happy she was to have such a solid relationship with Benji Madden, her boyfriend of nine whole months, sounding as gushy as a page ripped out of an old Tiger Beat magazine. She kvelled that he's so trustworthy and would never hurt her and they're best friends who tell each other everything and they're so close blah blah fucking blahnik. And then they broke up! Just like that--kaput! The love of Paris's life was suddenly not invited to kneel on her red carpet anymore! He was as over as last season's overpriced handbag. And I felt even more had than Benji probably did.

What next--it's gonna turn out Paris doesn't really read the bible?