Why Laura Bush Isn't Making a Bundle on Her Memoirs

Our first lady (tick, tick, tick) Laura Bush is penning her memoirs, and reports say she's getting a way smaller advance than the eight million whoppers Hillary Clinton nabbed for a somewhat similar work. And I have some pretty good ideas as to why that is. First of all, with the economy (and publishing) in the toilet, book advances are way lower than they used to be, and Laura has one whacked-out person she can thank for that--her husband!

Secondly, Hillary is a rounded, fascinating creature who had lots of scandals and conflicts to address. Laura certainly has her own scandals, like her big-time car accident all those wacky years ago, but she undoubtedly won't address them in the book, or at least not in the gloves-off, nitty gritty way we want to fork over major dollars for.

And finally, the Bushes are not terribly poo-pular right now, so we're not exactly anxious to crawl into the Missus' noggin and hear wacky excuses for the war in Iraq, the rotten financial state of our nation, and the marital enablement she clings to. But I'll give the woman the benefit of the doubt and hope we all find her book as riveting as Dubya found The Pet Goat as the world blew up.