Wedding Vows Make Me Queasy

I HATE the idea of marriage--it's pretty much destroyed society as we know it--but if people insist on continuing with that particular soul-crushing institution, don't you think personalized vows are way better than the old "I will be your slave till death do us part" type of thing?

The sweetest vows I ever heard were from a couple who wrote sincere little poems describing their love for their partner, while avoiding greeting-card ickiness or obvious rhymes. They're divorced now, but still, I'm convinced they totally meant what they said at the time.

So what are the best/worst vows you've ever heard and what would your vows be, assuming you ever got married again?

I vow to keep it a secret.