Happy Mother's Day, Mamma!

As Mother's Day approaches (it's May 10), it's a good idea to start readying your expressions of gratitude, so you don't just inarticulately drop a heap of flowers and chocolate onto her lap like a mime.

It's a day where you release all grudges and sing all praises, honoring ma for all the times she's inspired you more than emotionally crippled you--and even if that leaves you with just 10 seconds of praise, it's still worth emitting or at least scribbling it on a 99-cent store card.

To my mamma, I say:

Thank you for caring about me more than about anything or anyone else in the world. It's made me feel extremely special--an egomaniac, actually. Thanks for all those school lunches, for hosting all my friends through the years, for watching me every time I'm on TV and thinking of something nice to say afterwards. And thank you for showing me your softer side lately and for treating me with more respect when I asked you to. You actually listened to me, and now we've become friends, able to have a conversation based on caring, not suspicion. I'm proud of you for having survived so much loss and still maintaining your charm and integrity. Happy Mother's Day, ma!

Anyone else?