How Do You Tell Someone They Have Bad Breath?

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Halitosis is a terrible thing--almost as bad as Third World genocide--and a true friend or lover has a moral and aesthetic obligation to intervene and make it go away. But how? Do you come right out and say, "You have really ghastly breath. Make it stop immediately or I'm out of your life!"? Wouldn't that put a bit of a strain on the relationship?

Maybe one should casually take out some Altoids, pretend to pop one yourself, then offer them to the other person, not taking no for an answer?

Or do you anonymously send them a bottle of Listerine?

Or slip them a roofie every time you see them, and make sure they awake with a mouthful of hard candies?

It might be better just to drop them. There are plenty of perfectly desirable people out there without trench mouths!


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