Rod Blagojevich is Not a Celebrity...Get Him Out of Here!
Now that impeached Illinois gov Rod Blagojevich's plan to join the D-list cast of I'm a Celebrity...Get Me Out of Here has been viciously denied by a judge, I have to say this is a gross miscarriage of justice and a national tragedy!
A degrading reality show is the perfect place for someone as disgraced as "Blago"! Who better to claw his way through the Costa Rican jungle on all fours than a man who's been accused of more forms of corruption than Bernie Madoff? He's a natural to crawl around in the mud and hatchet his way to safety, stepping on the backs of whatever Full House cast member or forgotten Spice Girl they can dig up as costars.
Plus his irrational mop of hair is ideal for keeping in all that jungle perspiration, as well as for providing a safe haven for nesting mosquitos.
Best of all, letting Rod do the show would have kept him far away from our shores, where he wouldn't be around to swindle kids out of overpriced lemonades or trip old ladies on the corner and rummage through their wallets.
Your honor, I beg for an appeal!