They're Putting The Gays In Camps

I knew this would happen: A boot camp just for gays, starting next Monday morning. And it's even called, unabashedly enough, "Gay Men's Boot Camp." But this isn't some kind of POW detainee prison with barb wire and only solid colors. It's a place for self-inflicted punishment, designed to make your abs ripple and your tummy flatten. According to the release, the camp, "located at the Christopher Street Pier, is an outdoor boot camp program complete with fitness instruction, nutritional counseling, and motivational training--just for gay men! Pride is almost here and Fire Island is just around the corner, but is your body ready for display again? Get back in shape with a four-week boot camp guaranteed to leave you ripped and ready."

My gay God! Ghettoizing gay men while appealing to their most superficial fears and stereotypical insecurities is just...a great idea for financial success!

So all you dingbats should get your flabby asses over there pronto (register online: www.GayMensBootCamp.com or call for more info: 646-454-0777). I'd join you, but I have a four-week commitment to some pizza.