Michael Jackson "In The Closet"

Relax, it's the name of a song Jacko did, way back in 1991. "In The Closet" was the slithery new-jack number from his Dangerous LP, and as the New York Times noted at the time, "Only Jackson would use that title for a heterosexual love song."

But it definitely uses the "closet" phrase to riff suggestively on relationship and sexuality themes. The song starts with a female voice cooing, "There's something I have to say to you, if you promise you'll understand." Is she a lesbian? I know Michael was, ba-dum-pum.

Anyway, the female vocals were supposedly done by Princess Stephanie of Monaco.

The video has Michael sexlessly cavorting around the desert with scantily clad model Naomi Campbell, sweatily trying to create sparks.

And the result is a weird footnote in the career of a man who seemed closeted about a few too many things!