Baby Boomers Are Still Getting High

A new survey says that members of the Woodstock generation are just as stoned out of their skulls as they were 40 years ago! Apparently, the whole rehab phenomenon never really happened--or if it did, it obviously didn't take too well. Furthermore, the growing up process that generally occurs in the adult human species must have managed to skip this particular generation.

And so, what we're left with are masses of 50-somethings running around hallucinating, snorting, and picking their scabs. I lift my diet soda with lemon wedge in absolute horror!