How Not To Commit Murder

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In light of the slaying of Playboy model Jasmine Fiore and last week's pursuit of "person of interest" Ryan Jenkins--along with some knowledge culled from other cases in recent memory--I have some suggestions as to how NOT to carry out a murder and think you can get away with it.

*Don't just strangle the person and leave the body in a suitcase. Someone will find it. (It's never the police that does so, by the way. It's usually a dog, a jogger, or, in this case, "a passerby.")

*Don't flee afterwards. It makes you look a tad guilty. (Though it worked for O/.J., I guess.)

*Don't look up chloroform usage on your computer. That kind of thing can be traced. (You hear me, Casey Anthony?)

*Don't run around telling people you did it, thereby getting word of your guilt all over the media. (A la club kid Michael Alig, who's still in jail.)

*And don't give interviews where you refer to your wife--whose body hasn't been found yet and therefore might still be alive--in the past tense, even if you quickly try to correct yourself. (Got that, Scott Peterson?)

Best idea of all: Don't do it at all!

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