When Parents Won't Let You Grow Up

elaine stritch.JPG
What do you do when I--I mean you--have a parent who stubbornly refuses to treat you like an adult, even though you're practically of AARP age?

How do you react when--though you're so old you can remember the Dead Sea when it was just sick--my mama, I mean your mama, says stuff like "Did you use your umbrella in the rain today? And did you remember to eat?"

Do you start screaming, "Yes, you monster! Even a two-week-old who's been hit on the head at birth knows that you cover yourself when it rains and you seek sustenance when you're hungry!"???

Or are you flattered that she still cares enough to think of you as a mildly retarded minor?

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