Why Do We Shun Homeless People?

By Michael Musto Mon., Nov. 9 2009 at 9:00 AM

Categories: Featured, I'm Also an Advice Columnist

The other day a raggedy looking man approached me on the street and asked "Can you spare a quarter?" I'm not proud to admit that my immediate response--even before he finished that sentence--was to say "No" and rudely turn away.

But why? Surely I could have spared some pocket change, especially to someone who seemed so desperate.

Searching my soul for the possible reasons I often do this, I can only come up with rationales like:

*My mind is elsewhere at the moment and I'm thrown by the intrusion

*I think everyone's trying to use me for something

*I thought their approach could have been wittier or more original

*I feel they'll use the money for "bad" things like booze and drugs

*I figure they can always get it from someone else

*I don't want to be bothered by reminders of non-fabulousness

*I'm an idiot

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ppl pullin stunts off lyk dat relly puts ppl of givin 2 da homeless, anda also teens these days jst ask 4 money 4 fags n drugs relly puts people off as well
there are so many panhandlers working their bullshit schtick just like GayMovieFan described. the more dough they ask for - the more sure you can be that it's a lie.
Added to being homeless, some of the people begging are downright dangerous. They have mental problems, as when the mental hospitals turned them out into the streets (i think 1980's) it created a danger to the ordinary people walking around. Though I don't begrudge them a quarter I could give, I hesitate to have anything at all to do with them, preferring a (deep voiced) "no." in response. A crazy homeless lady walked up and socked me in the stomach one day for no apparent reason, but she wasn't asking for $. Another lady who seemed crazy but not necessarily homeless shrieked at me one day, "I'm fucking YOU, white prick!" again, for no apparent reason. If she was fucking me, I think I'd have been aware of it.
No, Michael, your reaction was because the beggar was the ghost of Arthur Bell, or the hundreds of former Voice writers with talent from back in the day when the only good writer for the paper was not you --
About five years ago, I was riding the #7 train in queens, when a nerdy-looking, very nelly (I mean a BIG QUEEN) young man, who was fairly well dressed, came screaming (and I mean SCREAMING) into our car, yelling "Please help me! PLEASE HELP ME! I was mugged -- they took my wallet and my watch! I need $16 to get a train home to Long Island." Just a few moments later, before anyone could even react, his pleas got even more desperate, shreiking at the top of his lungs, "WHY WON'T SOMEONE HELP ME!! I WAS MUGGED! THEY TOOK MY WALLET AND MY WATCH!! I NEED $16 TO GET HOME TO MY MOTHER ON LONG ISLAND!! HELP ME PLEASE!!" He then collapsed in a fit of tears and hysterical crying that was truly pathetic. Two guys helped him off the floor, sobbing, as almost everybody in sight started opening their wallets or purses, each proffering at least a $5 bill. It was a gratifying moment to know people were not all selfish, uncaring and hardened New Yorkers. About three weeks later, I was riding the same #7 line at the about the same time, when the connecting car door opened, and I suddenly heard an eerily familar voice, screaming, "Please help me! PLEASE HELP ME! I was mugged -- they took my wallet and my watch..." In a really loud voice, I screamed, "Hey Miss! How many times a month do you get mugged? I saw you pull the same stunt just a few weeks ago!" This queen turned bright red, closed her mouth, and got off at the next stop. Stuff like that makes you feel justified when you say no.
You forgot to ad *Because I'm cheap
In the passed few years, I have had clean, well-dressed people coming up to me and asking for $10-$20! What's up with that? They have to be dressed in rags and clearly malnourished or else they don't get a dime from me.
First, don't call them "homeless." A majority of homeless people are mothers with children and they deserve every ounce of sympathy and help we can give them. The people on the street I can often smell before I see, I call something else. I call them hobos. Other people call them panhandlers. In San Francisco we have a phrase for typically sympathetic and generous people who get burned out on the constant panhandling grind from our front door to destination: Compassion Fatigue. It makes some nice, liberal people like me start to get some really ugly, right-wing, conservative ideas running around their heads after a while.
I've thought about this a lot too. Felt bad for a long time, but now I think it's natural and u shouldn't beat yourself up. While there are many kind, wonderful people who are in need, this city also houses a lot of aggressive, unstable or otherwise unkind people who approach us. You only need to get burned by a few of the more scary/psycho people in NYC to start putting blinders on to avoid the situation altogether. It may sound cold, but it's a matter of self-preservation. Unless someone truly seems genuine, legit and non-crazy do they get my coins anymore.
I'm guilty of this too, especially on the subway, when a mariachi band comes around looking for change after they do a song. I bury my head in my book and count the seconds before they disappear. Wouldn't it be easier to just hand them a quarter?
We all do this. Somehow we think it's a scam or they're going to make tons of money doing this, so they don't really need us. It's an absurd rationale. We should just GIVE.
nashville provides wooden nickles good for a free bus ride to the homeless shelter.