Gwyneth Paltrow as Dietrich?

I am so kidding. I just wrote about Harper's appeal, which some queens who've seen her as Tallu are kvelling about.

And I do think Gwynnie Paltrow was astonishing in Shakespeare in Love and deserves a shot at a juicy role like pants-wearing, Nazi-detesting, cig-puffing Marlene Dietrich.

And she's got it in a BBC drama that was just announced!

But can she do the wisp? If so, what next--Gwynnie as Barbra Walters?