"Don't Sneeze on My Donut and Call it Frosting!"

• You are cooler than the other side of the pillow.

• Don't Cum In My Mouth And Tell Me It's Christmas

• What you don't know could fill Wisconsin.

• Wish in one hand, shit in the other and see which fills up first.

• Defiling my donut is pastry blasphemy! STOP cruelty to crullers!

• "Your wife either has AiDS or Alzheimer's. Leave her out in the woods. If she finds her way home, don't fuck her."

• "I don't care if it snows so deep you have to shit in a shotgun and shoot it out the chimney." "I didn't know whether to shit or go blind, so I closed one eye and farted."

• I've always been fond of, "You can kiss my ass in Macy's window."

• Advice to jealous critics: "If you can't run with the dogs, don't piss with the puppies."

• My favorite was always "That's about as effective as a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest".

• Dont raise the bridge, lower the water.

• "Don't cum on my donut and call it frosting!"

• "Mel...kiss my grits!"

• "It's all in the taste" the old lady said as she kissed the cow.

• Love many, trust few, and always paddle your own canoe.

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