"I Wish Him Chronic Diarrhea!"
That's what a cranky relative of mine says whenever someone upsets him.
And it seems like a pretty reasonable fantasy, as opposed to way more extreme curses like "I wish him getting stuck in an elevator that's playing John Tesh music" or "I wish him alone time with Larry King after the Cialis has kicked in."
What do you secretly wish for people who've done you wrong?
Exploding bowels, easy listening music, or something even worse?