Carol Burnett Is a Nice Person

So when Don Crichton, a dancer from her old variety show, set out to direct an alleged comedy called Viagra Falls -- currently stinking up the Little Shubert -- Carol obliged with a quote for the ads:

"On a scale of 1 to 10, this show's a 12!"

That's so nice of Carol. So enthusiastic and helpful.

But it might not be so nice to audiences who might dutifully buy tickets on Carol's recommendation, then find the show is on par with Springtime for Hitler, minus the laughs.

It's not a 12 at all. It's more like a negative 10 million with a minus sign made of hemorrhoids.

As the play -- about two geezers, a whore, and a bottle of penis hardeners -- creaks on into the night, you have to feel sorry for Carol, and also for the show's costumer Bob Mackie, who's obviously a nice, loyal friend himself.

But, mostly, you feel sorry for yourself.

Hey, in brighter geriatric news, Elaine Stritch has reportedly nailed her part in Broadway's A Little Night Music revival.

Says a Broadway board regular: "A Stritch in time learns lines."