Elvis's Hair for Sale!

The King's crown.

"In a last-minute edition to Heritage Auctions' Aug. 14 Ultimate Elvis Auction at the Peabody Hotel in Memphis, the auction house has announced that a large quantity of Elvis Presley's hair, cut from his trademark pompadour and originating in the collection of his personal barber, Homer Gilleland, will be auctioned off as part of this weekend's event.

"The hair is expected to bring as much as $20,000."

It turns out the crafty Homer would save bunches of Elvis's hair after he cut it, and would gift friends with the stuff.

Years later, someone has gifted it right back, to be auctioned off as a cultural hair-loom.

So now, diehard Elvis freaks can bid on the king's dark, spiky locks, but not me. All I ever wanted was a $40 Elvis lava lamp and a chance to negotiate with whoever did Madonna's last Brazilian wax.