Viagara Falls Is Coming Back!

Sorry to startle you, but Viagara Falls--the off Broadway "comedy" which Time Out New York's Adam Feldman said "falls somewhere between watching your grandparents masturbate and watching them go to the bathroom"--is returning like explosive diarrhea.

They closed the thing on August 29th, but an inside souse--I mean source--tells me that they plan to recast it and come back in four months as sure as gramps' hemmorhoids will return with flaring, burning, itching pain!

As if getting three new actors will solve the play's problems.

How about the script? The direction? The set? The embarrassment it no doubt caused legendary Carol Burnett, who gave an enthusiastic blurb as a favor to the director, who used to work with her?

And the fact that while watching it, my penis retracted out my butt and drilled me into my seat despite my desperate attempts to flee?

Fix that, people!