Bad Gift Idea: Cordial Cherries

You need a quickie gift to grab for someone you don't care about -- or something to add to the stack of shit for someone you do care about -- so you throw in a box of the inevitable Queen Anne Cordial Cherries.

They're those time-tested chocolate-covered maraschino cherries that you find everywhere from pharmacy chains to discount outlets to bargain racks of grocery stores.

And since you can nab a lovely box of them for only $1.99, you submit and buy a bunch every freakin' Christmas.

And your friends and loved ones inevitably open the box and make a big retching face.

After all, either:

(1) They just finished vomiting their way through last year's box

or (2) They vividly remember being so appalled by the banality of your gesture that they trashed it without even considering regifting.

They're not even that bad, it's just that they're that obvious and boring.

If you want to lose a friend, go get the ironically named cordials.