Don't Make Your Own Angel Dust, People
Don't treat it like just another recipe off the Food Channel.
Jerry Castaldo learned this the hard way, as he describes in his memoir, Brooklyn NY: A Grim Retrospective -- a gritty tale of dark struggle set in the '70s.
"Stevie and I had the bright idea that we could make our own Angel Dust and then sell it.
"Someone had casually told us that all we had to do was to boil formaldehyde until it was a powder, and then sprinkle it onto oregano."
Delicious, no? Or would you prefer cilantro? Well, it was definitely a hit this way, because people were lining up to buy the zingy miracle of herbs and embalming fluid.
"What we didn't anticipate," adds Cataldo, "were the hordes of dissatisfied customers coming back to look for us hours later.
"Yes, we'd inadvertently poisoned everyone!
"No one got high off of what we'd sold them -- not even a buzz.
"What they did get were the most debilitating headaches imaginable!"
Well, I happen to know a great cure for a headache.
Boil down some battery acid, sprinkle it with a hint of rosemary, drizzle it onto a moldy lasagna, add some sun-dried tomatoes, and then shoot up the whole mess as if mainlining heroin.
Headache gone. But the aftertaste!