Jessica Simpson Is The New Aretha Franklin
"I am blown away by the Jessica Simpson Xmas special on PBS," he texted me, ecstatic and totally sober.
"Her weight gain has made her a soulful belter," he added. "Trust me. It's an excellent show."
"She's the new Aretha," I texted back, rolling my eyes.
"Trust me," he repeated in response. "She's jaw-dropping."