"Someone to Blow Mel Gibson...Away"

That's one of the sincere holiday wishes expressed in the tres amusant Christmas card I just got from Caroline's Comedy Club.

Here are some of the other lovely yuletide hopes that are on the wryly joyful card:

"A proposed gay bar next to the proposed mosque.

"Brett Favre keeping his ball-handling on the field and off his cell phone.

"A military policy of 'Don't ask, don't judge.'

"Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton to 'Hoover' up all the bedbugs.

"Someone to tell Ricky Martin that we already knew.

"A Surgeon General's warning label on tights: 'Not to be worn as pants'.

"Christine O'Donnell starring in The Senate Race to Witch Mountain.

"Movies with three-dimensional scripts."

They had me until that one. That's just ridiculous!