The Six Worst Chain Restaurants in NYC

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Something about a chain restaurant tends to breed familiarity and efficiency, but it can also lead to a certain blandness and a numbing lack of individuality which makes chowing down tasteless in more ways than one.

Here are the six worst in Gotham, in ascending order of awfulness.

(6) Quiznos. I have no idea what that sauce they put on the sandwiches is, but it ain't food!

(5) Ollie's Noodle Shop. Your meal comes out a little too fast, and the second you take the last bite, they're whooshing you out the door so they can have the table. All the efficiency of dining in a factory, minus the charm.

(4) Cosi. Not as bad as the movie of the same name, but does anyone really want this much flatbread?

(3) KFC. I swear they've tampered with the formula, and even the cole slaw and biscuits aren't as zingy as they used to be. Plus there are too many questions. ("Original or crispy? White or dark?") Just give me chicken! And less seediness, please! You risk your life just to sit there and eat this shit.

(2) Applebee's. Middle America attacks! Only old people would like this place, but the music's too loud for them. As for anyone else, at least you know there's no chance someone will ever catch you there.

And the winner...

(1) The Olive Garden. Skimpy portions, no atmosphere, and as much Italian flavor as a soccer calendar. "All you can eat" here usually means not much!



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24 comments
Jibreel K Riley
Jibreel K Riley

popeyes because we didn't have them where I grew up however I know this was written by yuppies that never set foot into a ________ (Crown, Kennedy, New York or Obama) Fried Chicken place

ikenwan
ikenwan

Err, by which I mean, I happen to like Chipotle's and am glad it isn't on this list. WTF is a Cosi?

F. Packer
F. Packer

Patton Oswalt's bit about the KFC "Famous Bowl" wherein they just pile all the food into a bowl so you can eat it like a dog or a person without a shred of self-esteem or dignity is killer!

ikenwan
ikenwan

WTF is this "Disqus" in my comments section?

Laptopstop2
Laptopstop2

What's with the knocks on COSI ?? Excelent quality as compared to any other by far in the sandwhich and salad biz. I mean come on ! Plus they have beer, wine. Id rather pay a little extra for better quality. Seriously to even mention COSI in the same breath as KFC is obsurd

Pinkiechet
Pinkiechet

I would have thought Wendy's would be on your list. The last time I ate there, in Brooklyn, the service was beyond bad, and the food was anything but 'made to order'. Utter cardboard.

Chris Torres
Chris Torres

Cosi is horrid! I keep hoping that we'll get a Panera soon..Chipotle is fantastic, I love the burrito bowl. White Castle burgers terribly overrated.

Musto
Musto

I don't love Sbarro's either because a worker there once made fun of me.

Savannah Montgomery
Savannah Montgomery

Up here, at the tippy top of Manhattan, Applebee's starts to look like "fine dining" amid all the fast food / steam table joints

Gay Movie Fan
Gay Movie Fan

KFC used to be a guilty pleasure, way back when. About the time they stopped serving those delicious little dinner rolls and started giving out those cold, hard biscuits, I gave up. Once in a while, forgetting how bad my last experience was or in a nostalgic craving mode, I have gone back to KFC for a quick meal. In most KFC restaurants (there's a laugh) today, the chicken is undercooked. I have actually been served pink chicken thighs in some of them. And MM is right about the coleslaw - it used to be the tastiest coleslaw around. Now I usually spit out the first bite and dump the rest.

As for Quiznos - I didn't think anyone could make Italian food as badly as Sbarro's, but I was wrong.

Zone
Zone

I like Cafe Europa more than Cosi.

Melinda9
Melinda9

I agree with your list except for Cosi. Because sometimes when you're hungry, you just want to eat something and be done with it, not make a big, pretentious, costly deal out of it. And their food isn't bad. And I like the frosty drinks.

Bbnyc06
Bbnyc06

I had a great Quizno meatball parm sub out on Long Island and decided I'd have eat another one in NYC. They took out a plastic bottle full of mystery fluid and squirted it from the bottle all over the bread. I asked "What's that?" They told me it was the "sauce." Never went back. Chipotle and Qdoba are lousy (if you know what Mexican food is really supposed to taste like). I don't know if they have Auntchilada's here, but it's real good. You're right about Ollie's. "Fast food." I get the bum's rush there as soon as they've got my money. My sister swears by Olive Garden. But when I'm there, I'm just NOT family. You are right about KFC. They might as well just stick a "Crips Social Club" sign over the door. IMHO Appleby's is the entry with the worst entrees. Never been to Cosi. Fortunately, this is New York. Best restaurants in the world. But we wouldn't want to list them. The lines will just get longer.

nicholasstix
nicholasstix

"Chipotle and Qdoba are lousy (if you know what Mexican food is really supposed to taste like)."

Mexican food is supposed to taste lousy! Why do you think all the Mexicans want to come here? To slave away for, and abused by pretentious, bourgy socialists?

Laptopstop2
Laptopstop2

Olive garden. Great house salad and dressing, ok soups, yummy bread sticks. I have always thought Olive garden is good for all you can eat soup and salad on lunch. But the pasta and dishes they serve are pretty bad.

Soup Salad and Sticks is the trick to surviving a trip there

Jonparkus
Jonparkus

YES I agree!! Mike we make an X listand Applebees, and Olive Garden are on this dont go list. Outback is great though!!

guest
guest

KFC msg thru and thruughhh

Pinkiechet
Pinkiechet

it is incredibly greasy. I can feel my complexion recoil in horror as I put a piece to my mouth. However, KFC in Canada is still fantastic, not greasy and just delish, a guilty pleasure. But I don't live in Canada so i'm stuck with the greasy mess we get in the U.S.

Musto
Musto

I happen to like Chipotle (though I never know how to eat the burrito without it crumbling all over the place) and I LOVE TGIF! Love the decor, the food, the ambience. Seriously.

Dolph
Dolph

I sort of like Cosi, though I usually leave still hungry. Agree about Olive Garden. What a travesty. No native has ever set foot in there.

Foodiefranny
Foodiefranny

You left out Chipotle!!!

Laptopstop2
Laptopstop2

Chipotle = proving once again people love sodium buffetts. But in the world of fast, let me pick my own stuff to pile on, ill have some more of the green, makes me wish i was in on the IPO. Shares are worth a ton right now

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