Prince William and Kate Middleton: I Don't Bloody Care!
I didn't give a royal shit about Prince Charles marrying Princes Diana way back when that wedding was crammed down our throats, but at least that one had some glamour and promise to it.
But now that we know the horrors -- from adultery and divorce to lethal stalking by paparazzi -- that can ensue from this sort of arrangement, it's hard to get too worked up over Prince William and Kate Middleton's gala coming together.
I wish them well, mind you (though I sincerely doubt that royals are really as intrinsically nice as they're portrayed in movies like The King's Speech).
And I think it's great that they already went through the breaking-up-and-making-up process, so they're not going into this with stars in their eyes.
But I just don't give a shit!
I'm already sick to death over the hype, the endless pop cultural angles, the namedropping, and the merch that will be rammed up our asses till the April deadline day and way beyond.
Give me a real celebrity over a royal any day.
How about Queen Latifah?