Charlie Sheen Is Fabulous!
That's the position I've decided to take in order to retain my sanity.
I mean, the man isn't going to go away anytime soon.
He's going to continue to seize headlines with his self-aggrandizing dance of pride in his idiocy, squirting water down our pants while beeping his big, red clown nose.
So you can either sit there and fume about it or just drink the Kool-Aid and go, "Fun guy! Let's hear what else he has to say!"
I'm choosing the latter option. Charlie is fabulous!
True, he recently called co-star Jon Cryer a troll for not coming to his defense. (Gee, maybe that was because Cryer lived in constant terror that the show would be jeopardized by Charlie's behavior, which it ultimately was).
And now, Charlie is leveling lawsuits against Warner Brothers, claiming he wants to marry a tree, and threatening live shows where he'll unveil his "torpedo of truth" (which I'd imagine is pretty small).
But rather than call the police, I'll be there, listening. He's worn me down. He's totally won. I'm on his team. I can't fight this rampaging parade of insecure attention-grabbing anymore. Yay, Charlie!
I even wish I was a hot young female tree!