'Fuck You, Anonymous!': I'm So Sick of Mouthy Web Cowards

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CLICK HERE for my rage-filled new column in which I screech a giant F-word at all the anonymous masses who vent their distorted views on a regular basis, just because their namelessness gives them a swelling sense of misguided power to go with their midsections.

I'm not referring to you people, mind you -- and even if I were, that's OK because cranky, Musto-hating comments here totally count as traffic, so please bring 'em on!

I'm referring to the identity-free wusses who post bilious, skewed "opinions" all over the web, just because licking their own balls is totally allowed.

Fuck you, Anonymous! At least I get paid for my bile.

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23 comments
Iggygirl12
Iggygirl12

Oh yes and let us not forget that more then just member of anonymous can hack. ;)  

Iggygirl12
Iggygirl12

Thank you Micheal Musto, they are a bunch of wusses. Apparently they aren't big enough to do anything huge on there own, so they have to send out invites to people over facebook so those people can do it for them. Its so pathetic that all they can do is post stuff and hack a couple things, sure one of those things was Sony. But Sony is now back up and running like new again. So these guys can suck my theoretical dick.

Big Bad Anonymous
Big Bad Anonymous

Awe, look at you, cwying over Big Bad Anonymous and his meany opinions that you can do nothing about...

CMCH
CMCH

anonymous you can kiss my ass, if you ever do show your faces you have about 75 million PSN users who are going to beat some fucking brains into you you sick sad bastards

Melinda9
Melinda9

I find the hate trolls very interesting. They seem to think that they're debating and they always want to disagree, but they don't want to be disagreed with. Disagreement violates their freedom of speech. And somewhere they got the idea that ad hominem attacks are a legitimate form of discourse.

Periwinkleblue
Periwinkleblue

Monito... doesn't seem to realize that there are ways to post contrarian remarks without being hateful about it.

Grammar
Grammar

"You're ignorance is astonishing". Ha!!!

Movielover
Movielover

As I read horrible stories in the Post or Daily News about what some retarded asshole has done, I then scroll to the comments and they are predictably racist and homophobic. Matters not who the perps are, the other couple of colors will chime in with their "I hate..." remarks.

Eileen
Eileen

Like Musto wrote, "they will always post one more nasty comment". Try hushing it for a second, Monitoruser ,and I'll do the same.

Rahrah
Rahrah

"Monitoruser" exemplifies just the problem you're talking about. But it's something you have to deal with. Ignore.

Paul
Paul

I love it when you get like this.

Monitoruser
Monitoruser

You just spoke out of both sides of your mouth. You owe a lot of people a sincere apology. That is, of course once you get your head out of your rear end. You should be ashamed of yourself.

At least you made all your fellow bloggers happy. I suspect your tirade is a symptom of a larger problem with this medium. Some standards would be a good starter I should think. You know... like real journalists

Feel free to email me if you have a problem with my or others apparent inferior opinions.

Clint
Clint

Michael Take a couple of Ecstasy MDMA with your coffee. Michael Alig has a parole hearing coming up. Both of you can party together like the 80's and 90's

Musto
Musto

Thanks for the traffic!

breathe... calm down
breathe... calm down

...but on sites where the identities are made up, it's daggers, hemlock, and spooge in your face.

Thanks MM and to 'The Concise New Partridge Dictionary of Slang and Unconventional English,' now I know spooge is a noun, [1] semen US, 1987. [2] any viscous matter of unknown origin US, 1995. [3] in computing, code or output which cannot be understood US, 1991.

At least on my own blog, such effrontery counts as traffic, so I actually welcome it.

For the few 'Mouthy Web Cowards' who might not know, effrontery is a noun meaning nerve, arrogance, cheek, gall, disrespect, audacity, boldness, rudeness, chutzpah.

For one thing, "jump the shark" is an expression that has long ago, well, jumped the shark. The phrase jump the shark comes from the climactic scene on the TV series Happy Days in September 1977, where a water-skiing Fonzie (Henry Winkler), wearing swimming trunks and his leather jacket, jumps over a confined shark, answering a challenge to demonstrate his bravery. Jon Hein, creator of the now defunct website 'jumptheshark.com' which popularised the term, explained the concept as follows: "It's a defining moment when you know that your favorite television program has reached its peak. Some call it the climax. From that moment on, the program will simply never be the same."

In the meantime, fuck you, Anonymous. And you, too, Anonymous. And as for you, Anonymous, your mother sucks cocks in hell.

To boot, this works better for me:In the meantime, fuck you, Anonymous. And you, too, Anonymous. And as for you, Anonymous, your mother wears Combat Tropical Boots while sucking cocks in hell.

timwayne
timwayne

By the way, holding my comments for moderation makes me more likely to be an asshole in the comments.

timwayne
timwayne

Musto, you're talking about the Greater Internet Fuckwad Theory, where anonymity + Internet = Fuckwad. http://encyclopediadramatica.c...

It's actually unsupported with evidence. People are going to be assholes whether or not their names are attached. It's just that many people with something negative to say who are given and option for anonymity will opt for anonymity. Why not?

kalalaumango
kalalaumango

People have acquired a desire for technology that surpasses human comprehension. Yet the bill that has come due for that desire is all too dear. /////Amen, this note from an article about the crisis in japan removed from anonymous inverted to licking one's balls to clean the jock itch. Amen.

Anonymous
Anonymous

Why can't you be more like Michael K? Now SHE's funny!!! This shit is boring.

Monitoruser
Monitoruser

You're right Periwinkleblue. I left my manners at home today. It's been a bad day at the office. #Imastupidtroll. Alas, my body has no #tigerblood left. Thank you for helping me realize the error of my troll ways.

Musto is the greatest blogger on the planet and I had no right to respond in the same manner as the article. Tomorrow is a new day though. I will only write positive and polite comments in the future. Of course, I have to go to bed wondering if my sweet mother (god rest her soul) is sucking a cock as I drift off to recharge my batteries.

Monitoruser
Monitoruser

Rahrah - ignorance is bliss isn't it. You exemplify many things as well. I would elaborate, but apparently comments are only received as intelligent if they are not contrarian. .Since you do not know me personally, you're ignorance is astonishing. Additionally, I would have no problem expressing myself to the blogger or your face.

franco
franco

Big Brother is watching just by expanding your profile Anonymous aka: Jsantiago

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