Here's One Fan Letter I'm Not Answering

Categories: Fan Mail

I don't want to be rude, but I don't know, something about it seems a little bit rote, a teensy bit impersonal, and WAY off base!!

See if you agree?

I mean, am I up for some Oscar I'm not aware of?

And if so, should I quickly prepare glam campaign ads a la Melissa Leo, then get ready to screech out the f word?

mustoletter.jpg


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20 comments
RickShur
RickShur

Perhaps the writer is a speculator. Being somewhat clairvoyant myself, Michael, I believe that several stars in your chart are about about to line up with Uranus and usher in a whole host of offers for you to appear in projects of some seminal works. I'd like an autographed photo, too.

Pidge
Pidge

Um, Musto's whole point that the letter was "rote" and "impersonal," i.e., a form letter. He got it!

Bindi the jungle Gurl
Bindi the jungle Gurl

Hate to bust the fantasies of having a sick admirer- as someone else suggested- looks like a "form" letter. (So) I would bet other "celebrities" got one as well.It's good to be "hot"- just not too hot!Good Luck with it...

Musto
Musto

OK, Molly, we'll host the Oscars, and then I'll fudge one of the envelopes so I win one, and THEN I'l send him a head shot.

Molly "Equality" Dykeman
Molly "Equality" Dykeman

The mention of the Oscars makes me believe that this is another sign that we should host the Oscars together. I gotta get my people working on it. Have a heart and send the little guy an autographed pic and some pubic hair. After all, he took the time, it's the least you can do. (I'm assuming it's a guy cause girls aren't that dumb.)

Beatrice Butterfield
Beatrice Butterfield

I'l remember never to congradulate you in fear of you taking it the wrong way.

NORMADESMOND
NORMADESMOND

well, you have to admit, your name, handwritten IS a nice touch.

Savannah Montgomery
Savannah Montgomery

"Dear Mr. Musto...I am writing this to say..."

Sincerely...your biggest fan,Judah Gorlund

egghumor
egghumor

Does it also mention very sick family members and bank accounts in Nigeria?

Zozo
Zozo

I bet it also went to Phylicia Rashad, Marcia Wallace, and Karen Valentine.

Paul
Paul

Beware the form letter...

timmmyk
timmmyk

Damn, I was going to send the exact same letter.

Egbert Souse
Egbert Souse

He probably saw you with The Must. That was some Grammy-bait, right there.

franco
franco

Don't be rude, you didn't find any white powder in the envelope... did you?

Have an expert analyze the handwriting and if all OK, write back, include an autographed 8x10.

Don't shatter this courteous, concerned, starry-eyed fan's dream.

Musto
Musto

No, it's from my butt.

Bbeard
Bbeard

Was that a pubic hair attached to the top??

Guest
Guest

It sounds like some eager kid at elementary school doing a project. Send him the photo.

Jamesvmorris
Jamesvmorris

I hate the way you cut my name off after, "Thank you,"

Delroy
Delroy

Sincerely, John Hinckley

Turnip
Turnip

I think the way they handwrote your name was a clue that this wasn't too personal.

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