Joey Arias Will Blow You at Town Hall

You see, performer extraordinaire Joey Arias -- who has channeled Billie Holiday, co-starred with puppets, and even played Vegas -- is headlining Town Hall (123 West 43rd Street) on Thursday, April 21, at 8, and he aims to please.

While he preps the gardenia for his inevitable triumph, I cornered Joey for some inside juice:

Me: Hi, Joey. What does playing Town Hall mean to you?

Joey: Town Hall means History! It's a statement that marks an artist's work for their contribution to their life's work. I hope there's a podium and wooden hammer. Order in its highest degree!

Me: Will you miss being onstage with puppets?

Joey: I've missed working with puppets since Arias With a Twist. I fell right into that world Basil has created. But I promise that some people will be treated like puppets. Just find the string...I hope it's not that time of the month!

Me: Speaking of menstrual pain, how much Billie Holiday will you serve?

Joey: I always serve some Billie, but I have channeled her so much that we're one now! Now it's safe to grow from there...but you always have to return to your roots. By the way, I need a touch up! Stephan Knoll, where are you?

Me: He's doing my pubes. By the way, will you blow the audience after the show?

Joey: If Mr. Manfred Thierry Mugler is art-directing the show, it could be a surprise...LOL. But the next one he's directing is cumming. It's called Z Chromosome. If someone has the BALLS to get up there...I could make it performance art. I think Town Hall needs a little wake-up call. Like I always said, FROM BATHROOMS TO BROADWAY. Everyone will get Blow that night for sure! One night only! LOL."