Katie Holmes, Don't Sue Me, Girl!
Katie Holmes is reportedly suing American Media for 50 million smackers because of their cover story, "Addiction Nightmare: Katie Drug Shocker!" which seems to be misleading and damaging (but don't sue me, American Media!)
But anyway, my main point is, don't sue me, Katie Holmes!
Sure, I've had some fun with your weird choices and unorthodox behavior, but you have a right to live your life however you want, and if you say you're crazy for Tom Cruise, then fine, you're crazy for Tom Cruise!
And I absolutely adore little Suri, every time you show her off to the cameras. It's totally inspiring!
And while Scientology has problems -- like their reportedly hideous attitude toward gays -- is it that different from gay-baiting Catholicism, which I was brought up on? I mean, right?
So let's be legal friends, please.
And by the way, you are so much better than that other girl from Dawson's Creek and I can't believe she's gotten two Oscar nominations and you haven't gotten any!