Charlie Sheen in Five Years
Look into your crystal meth balls.
Where will the too-whack-for-prime-time wildman be?
I've narrowed it down to a handful of choices, some less unsavory than others:
*An AA sponsor?
*A door-to-door tiger's blood salesman?
*Still touring, but in increasingly smaller venues? Next stop, Chipotle?
*More popular than ever with hookers because he really won't be getting it up?
*The new host of Celebrity Apprentice en route to the White House?
*Jon Cryer's road manager?