Cirque du Soleil Show Titles: Oy!

The linguistic whimsy mixed with faux profundity, all designed to make people think they're shelling out cash for something more meaningful than it is, has become as tiresome as a wintuk of quidam zumanity in a dralion of zarkana.

But as long as they're so good at coming up with names that hypnotize the public into buying tickets, let's think of some more.

Here are my own personal Cirque du Soleil titles, cooked up in a haze of pretension, condescension, and just plain tension.

(Let's just keep them as titles, though, and not make the actual shows.)

Patapoop

Spider-Man