I Have a New Motto That Will Save New York City!

Categories: Advice

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You have to believe me on this one.

Lord knows mottoes have lifted our town's sprits in the past -- inspiring sayings like "I love New York" and "Fun City" (though that one quickly became ironic, sure enough).

So here's the new motto I've concocted to elevate our town from its slump, and I'm offering it for free as long as I get credit when Bloomberg accepts the Nobel Peace Prize for it.

"If you can fail here, you'll fail anywhere!"

Love it?????


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22 comments
Timmmyk
Timmmyk

My choice: 'Get out of the way, idiot.'

Margie
Margie

What the fuck does taking out a full page ad in Metrosource have to do with (a) winning the Pulitzer or (b) getting another publication to review it???

franco
franco

I was curious, but luckily got this urgent message before visiting "kensofronski@verizon.net":

WARNING: Possible Phishing Site

The address for the website you're visiting contains a username or password. This may be a "phishing" website. Phishing websites are designed to trick you into disclosing personal or financial information usually by creating a copy of a legitimate website such as a bank's.

Kensofronski
Kensofronski

Musto, would you like to review my new book, Old, Gay & Fabulous, a memoir. I took out a full page ad in the Gay Pride issue of MetroSource. It will probably win the pulitzer.

kensofronski@verizon.net

Savannah Montgomery
Savannah Montgomery

NYC...only ups and downs (in the same day) here...no middle exists here evah!

Ok...um Times Square.

Nicestdionysus
Nicestdionysus

I prefer Sandra Bernhard's "If You Can Make It Here, You'll Fail Everywhere Else".

Or mine: "We Gave You Times Square And The Goddamn TV's In Taxicabs, Now Would You Kindly Stop Ruining Our City?"

Ooh
Ooh

No, it's definitely true. If you can fail here, despite all the opportunities, you'll fail in Redbank too.

Pietro
Pietro

Not sure it's true. One can fail here but make it in Redbank, NJ or Tulsa, OK. How about "If you make it there, you will still fail here," which is true for most of us, or "Don't even think about making it here. You won't and we won't care"???

tony adams
tony adams

When I worked for the State of Connecticut, I came up with a motto that was not well received by the Tourism Department: "Connecticut - If You Have To Ask, You Can't Afford To Live Here!" They suggested my early retirement.

Jonster
Jonster

I like: "Welcome to New York! Yes, that smell is Urinel!"

Kinda old but some of the other state mottos crack me up:

Arkansas: Literacy Ain't Everything

California: By 30, Our Women Have More Plastic Than Your Honda

Delaware: We Really Do Like The Chemicals In Our Water

Florida: Leave us alone, we're busy enjoying the 82 degree winter. (thanks to Gregory Seel)

Florida: Ask Us About Our Grandkids

Georgia: We Put The "Fun" In Fundamentalist Extremism

Hawaii: Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru (Death To Mainland Scum, But Leave Your Money)

Kentucky: Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names

Louisiana: We're Not ALL Drunk Cajun Wackos, but That's Our Tourism Campaign

Mississippi: Come and Feel Better About Your Own State

Nebraska: The "N" is for Knowledge

Nevada: Whores and Poker!

New Hampshire: Just Like Old Hampshire, but Newer

New Jersey: You Have the Right To Remain Silent, You Have the Right To an Attorney

Ohio: At Least We're Not Michigan

Oklahoma: Like The Play, Only No Singing

Utah: Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus

Virginia: Who Says Government Stiffs and Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix?

Timmie
Timmie

Pennsylvania: Pittsburgh and Philadelphia on Both Ends, Mississippi in the Middle

franco
franco

Oversight OR Intentional???

Alaska: Shoot, doggoned, sheltered, independent American Last Frontier, were we don't retreat, we reload.

Alaska's actual state motto since 1967, "North to the Future," created by veteran newsman Richard Peter, a reminder that beyond the horizon of urban clutter there is a Great Land beneath our flag that can provide a new tomorrow for this century's 'huddled masses yearning to be free.'

Melinda9
Melinda9

I don't think I understand it - is it like 'failure here is better than success somewhere else'?

Mike the Wolf
Mike the Wolf

How about 'I don't completely hate New York'

Timmie
Timmie

Well as ol' Eagle Eyes, Sammy Beckett was found of singing, "Try again. Fail again. Fail better."

Finding
Finding

I love the Can't Do spirit behind that message.

Mims
Mims

This beats Charlie Sheen's "Winning!" thing. It's more realistic.

Wieselthal
Wieselthal

"To find you're bottom of the list! Bottom of the heap!"

Very catchy.

Worms
Worms

Yes, I love it!! let's set it in motion.

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