James Franco Was Going To Do Cher!
I mean, you know, dress like Cher.
On the Oscars.
But an unexpected occurrence got in the way of that, so he got dolled up as Marilyn instead.
Click here for my breezy Q&A with funnyman-slash-Oscar writer Bruce Vilanch, and that will all be gorgeously explained, with full accessories.
Vilanch also gives me insight into the identity of next year's host.
(No, it won't be, well, you know.)
Hand me the award for this one.