Karma Doesn't Work at All!
And I have exact, documentary proof of that!
Every sleazeball and freak who's ever screwed me over, conned me, lied to me, harassed me, or stabbed me in the back is still alive!!
Some of them are even thriving!
And even the ones who aren't thriving are too dumb and squalid to know they're not international success stories, so they're actually doing just fine.
So the whole karma thing -- you know, that you reap what you sow and get paid back for crap behavior -- is as invented as the Easter Bunny or Obama's tax plan!
Wait, I have even better proof that it's a sham:
I'm still here!