It's a Lint Brush And A Vibrator!
Have I got the one-stop shopping device for you!
It's called "L'Intimate," and it's described as "a hidden pleasure" courtesy of some madcap, bizarrely spelled manufacturing label called Misschivus.
And l'enough of the thangs fell off the proverbial truck for advice guru Robbyne Kaamil to have rounded them up as giveaways for Daniel Nardicio's S**t Show last night at Bowery Poetry Club, where we all went home really happy.
Here's how it works:
On the outside, "L'Intimate" is a lint-removing brush, so it's perfectly acceptable in fine places everywhere.
But open it up -- as you would a Russian doll -- and there's a freakin' vibrator in there!
Says the box -- I mean the cardboard one -- this secret stash of faux penis allows "women to keep their private pleasures private" and enables them "to enjoy gentle, worry-free satisfactions anytime, anywhere."
Which begs the question:
Isn't it more embarrassing to be seen with a lint brush than a vibrator?
I mean, shouldn't this thing be the other way around, so the vibrator is on the outside?
And furthermore: Women?
In any case, I gamely gave the multifaceted device a whirl last night and found it a remarkable way to clear up two problems at once:
There's no more angst in my pants and no more lint up my butt!
Thank you, Misschivus.