I've Been Raptured To The Heavens
Yes, I was one of the lucky 2 percent of the population who, last night at 6 Eastern Standard Time, got magically swept up to a de-luxe apartment in the sky-aye-aye.
And luckily they have Internet service up here, so I can keep on blogging away for you poor, earthbound folks.
In fact, the service is even better than it was in Murray Hill!
There's only one problem.
The people up here are really horrible!
Already, I've run into such illustrious creepazoids as Hitler, Bin Laden, and Ronald Reagan!
Hey, wait a minute.
Maybe I wasn't raptured upward after all.