The Five Worst Kinds Of Party People

Categories: Nightlife

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Clubs and parties are explicitly about fun, fun, fun -- until you get stuck with the loser of all time who gloms on to you, making you wish you'd stayed home with your pet colonoscope.

The worst partygoers are:

5. The compulsive namedropper.

They just did the hair of someone who was in Lincoln Lawyer, who happens to have the same accountant as someone on Gossip Girl, who used to date someone who was in the audience for Jerry Springer.

With every namedrop, this person is essentially screaming "I'm pathetic!"!


4. The type who scans the room while they talk to you, hoping for someone better.

Since I'm usually doing the same, there's precious little eye contact going on in these alleged conversations.


3. A drunk/cokie who keeps repeating everything they say and can't absorb one word anyone else says.

Unless it's "Want more coke?"


2. The promoter who finally got you to go to their party and is now pleading with you to go to their next party.

Oy. Don't push it, hon.


And finally ...

1. The brain-dead conversationalist.

You know, the type who thinks the height of wit is to say stuff like:

"What's new?" "What's exciting?" "Got some gossip?" "Having fun?"

Answer: No!!!!!



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17 comments
OVRIT
OVRIT

Oh. I was thinking Amanda Lepore, Cazwell, Ladyfag, Kenny Kenny and Susanne Bartsch.

latenitebump
latenitebump

1. the boyfriend snatcher.2. the label queen/fashion victim3. the slut 4. that strange fella.5. the reciting lines queen. the line went like this...her line in the movie was. the exact line is. i saw the film a hundred times. etc.6. the bitch.

clubbie
clubbie

It that picture of the Hacienda club or from 24 Party People?

Jonster
Jonster

I was at a bar and two men began speaking to me about themselves. And it turned into a name-drop psychic adventure. One man said to me, "Do you know who [his friend] works for?" He looked at his friend. "Can I tell him?" "No, no!" says the other man. So I guessed Barry Manilow. Their jaws dropped and they looked at me in shock. "Right! Wow!" Then I learned all the ins and outs of working with a celebrity and so forth. Then, in an attempt to impress me, he asked: "Do you know who I met at his house? he asked. "I couldn't believe my eyes when she walked in! Go ahead, guess." Out of nowhere, it was like the answer was in my head. "Princess Stephanie!" I said. (Obv., this was years ago...). This is when they reallllly looked at me. I'm a namedropper extraordinaire. If I've even been in the room with you for five minutes and you're famous, we are close personal friends. But these guys took the cake. I love the Glass Casket (Town House).

Tatas
Tatas

The kind that dictate every second: "Let's get a drink. Let's dance. Let's go to the bathroom. Let's leave."

Evan
Evan

This list is too short! Needs more anecdotes.

Musto
Musto

Ha ha!! I'll look out for "adhesive trade-up barnacles" from now on. Thanks for the tip.

tony adams
tony adams

(6) The Adhesive Trade-Up Barnacle.

We should all feel free to meet/greet strangers at parties but this guy latches on with a vengeance convinced that sticking to you will improve his social standing. He forgets that by his cling, your status will drop equally to his rise. (The subset: Eve Harrington, and commenters like me on Michael Musto's posts.)

Grr
Grr

Well, since "What's new?" is forbidden, what WOULD make for good introductory conversation??

alexgeana
alexgeana

oh, i've been #4, way to many times !!!

Musto
Musto

Well, I have really good peripheral vision.

hot for harry
hot for harry

Wow Michael you have never done number 4 to me. I feel specialxxx

Luver
Luver

I hate the people with bad breath who talk in your face, screaming over the music, and it's always idiotic or self promotional.

How is this fun?

Parker
Parker

I agree with number one.

"What's new" is so annoying!

It's like saying "I have nothing to say, so you entertain me." I want to say "Pay me."

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